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Thursday, September 29, 2005

more pictures of funny sleeping

5 seconds before this was taken her legs were up on the side

Wednesday, September 28, 2005

Not an easy task

Estee has been so cute when we look in the mirror together. I make funny faces at her and she laughs hysterically and talks to me. Since I was by myself I attempted different ways to capture that cuteness on film. It was not easy but here is the result. I think it is also exciting for her to see that silly little baby laughing and that she has two mommies! I have to just add that right now as I type she is sitting in her aquarium seat and "talking" to the fish. I think I will eat her for supper!

proud mama

I swear my daughter is a genius! This morning while I was changing her and she was laughing and cooing, she rolled her tounge! That has got to be an advanced ability! Besides for that we already discussed all of her other talents, and as promised I took a picture of her in her bassinet so you can see what I was talking about the other day. Okay, so you see where her pacifier is? That is where her head started and her feet were straight out in front of her. The other day she was straighter in that position and her legs were up on the sides because they didn't fit. Today the reason why her head is like that is because she was trying to flip over but didn't have enough room.
Another thing she does when she's talking is, she says "ahgoo!" Now being that my undergrad BA is in speech pathology I know that the hard g sound is one of the hardest to say. All the glottal and gutteral sounds are. So she must be advanced right?

Tuesday, September 27, 2005

Estee and abba

can you see where her hand is?

Monday, September 26, 2005

I'm a nerd

I am such a nerd when it comes to my wittle cutesy. I see how some of the parents in my class are and I know that will be me. We had the parents fill out a little questionaire about their son and then add whatever other details they wanted on the back. one mother wrote a whole page about her son. At first I was thinking oh goodness...but then I realized that I will definitely be like that. I am so proud of her! The conversation started today when I was talking to some teachers about the new susie fishbein cookbook that just came out.. kosher by design, cooking with kids. I said I just have to have that. I am so excited to do those things with her and whoever else I may birth in the future. I then went on to describe all the things that make me a nerdy mom. As you already know she is on my voicemail. When she is in school, and I make her sandwiches to take for lunch I plan on cutting them out with cookie cutters so she has fun shaped sanwiches to eat. I was always jealous of those kids that got an I love you note from mommy in their lunch. My child will get that!! The other teachers told me that it's my first kid and I'll do it for her but won't for the rest. We shall see!
A terrible thing happened to me yesterday. I went to visit my old job and one of the workers there said "looks like you haven't taken off your baby weight." I should've told her actually I am 6 pounds lighter for your information!!

this is what I was talking about

I love my aquarium bouncer! I can stare at my fishies for hours!

day by day

A few interesting things happened this weekend. First of all, Both Aaron and I had terrible colds. My hands are like sandpaper because every time I sneezed I washed my hands, before every time I touched Estee I washed my hands. I am so afraid of her getting sick. I know I know, she needs to be exposed to germs in order to build up her immune system but after she is three months old. For some reason I have this cut off point in my mind. 3 months old is where it is at. Everything that I have been shielding her from goes out the window when she is three months old. I am not sure why. I will take her to shul, expose her to little kids, go more places with her. I am not sure if I will get less neurotic. That is something I really can't guarantee. On shabbos when we were leaving my mother's house to walk home Aaron was holding her and I told him to put her in her stroller and he said "she is fine like this, I'll hold her as we walk home." For some reason I freaked out. I would not leave until he put her into the stroller. What if she squirms out of your arms and falls onto the concrete? What if a car comes and is about to hit you, atleast if she is in the stroller you can push her out of the way (remember my dream?) Woah, Rebecca calm down. I know it may seem irrational to all of you but I just felt she would be safer in the stroller. I don't know why but I have this fear of concrete. I'm not even sure where it came from. But when we were somewhere recently with her that had concrete I was afraid to let anyone hold her. What if they aren't as careful as me? Maybe I saw a movie once and something terrible is in my subconsious that I just can't shake, I am not quite sure. That is kind of where my other two fears came from. The movie the vanishing, and the san fransisco earthquake where they showed on the news a bridge collapsing. But I digress. So thank G-d so far Estee has not gotten sick...It can be many things either she is immune to our germs, we were very careful or breastfeeding really does prevent illness or something like that. I guess we will never know but lets just pray that she hasn't caught it and won't.
This morning Estee woke up at 5:45 for a feeding. I fed her and put her back to bed at 6:30. She slept until 9. I tried to do the same. Every so often I woke up because she was making grunting noises in her sleep and moving around a lot. When I came to get her at 9 I noticed that she made a complete 360 degree turn. It's funny because last week when I came to get her and she was laying sideways with her legs up on the side of the bassinet. I guess this time she went all the way around. Next time it happens I will try to take a picture because it really is hard to describe unless you know the dimensions of her bassinet.
The other amazing thing she did yesterday was flip over. I know she has done that a few times before but this time she went from her back to her stomach. The poor kid couldn't flip back over, I felt so bad for her.
Another reason I feel bad for her is she so badly wants to suck her thumb. She tries so hard and concentrates so hard and ends up poking herself in the eye, hitting herself in the head. Once in a while she gets it and I think she just doesn't realize that she has the control and moves her hand away. I see how frustrated she gets so a few times I just helped her out a little. Somewhere my dentist father is screaming!!!

Thursday, September 22, 2005

more pics

Credits for these photos go to Jeff Becker. Aren't they amazing? I wish I could afford to buy them all. There are a ton more but these are the nicest I think


lovely chain of events

It started out with a little kvetch. A kvetch I know well as "I'm hungry mommy" I had fed her not long before but she didn't eat much so I knew she would be asking soon. So, I picked her up and noticed in the mirror that the butt of her outfit (that I just put on her and looked so cute) was nice and brown. The dilemma: Estee hates being changed when she is hungry, Estee has a huge temper. But, it's not exactly fair to make her sit in it while she eats, I certainly wouldn't want to sit in my poop while eating. Furthermore, being that it was all over her clothes it would get all over me too. And that would make me unfit to touch my daughter. So, being that she was only in the kvetching stage I figured changing her was the best bet. Of course, the poop wasn't just a stain, it was actually IN the outfit so I had to take that off first. Dilemma #2: Estee hates being naked when hungry. It was all over her. She decided it might be a fun idea to grab her thighs at that moment so now it was all over her hands as well. Dilemma #3: leave her poop and tush unattended to clean her hands that may go in her mouth before I am finished and risk her pooping more all over the place?
This time I was lucky and she didn't do that! I got her cleaned up, put on a clean diaper, started to put her desitin on and bam....pee all over. She was already crying at that point so she was squirming all over so the pee dripped to her back and into her hair. It was also all over me. and, no wipes left. So, I had to go down to the floor where the refill wipes are and get more all while holding her naked body still. As I was cleaning her body and she was screaming her brains out, she decided to show me that she can do something new. When she is upset she kicks her legs. Well, you know how when you first learn to swim they teach you to push off with your legs from the wall to go faster? That is what she was doing so I looked up for a minute from wiping her and saw that she was almost off the changing table and on her way to pushing herself off completely I said "oh my G-d!" and pulled her back on. This scared her and she really started to howl. Luckily, I was able to get her dressed and calm before the howl turned into the next step...breath holding which she is in the habit of doing quite often. I fed her (and surprisingly all she ate was very little) and she is now happy, and fast asleep in her swing.

Tuesday, September 20, 2005

Sunday, September 18, 2005

New tricks, New habits

It's really amazing how much Estee has grown and changed in only 10 weeks. From a baby who slept almost all day she is now up and alert during the day. She interacts with me regularly. We have conversations and I could've sworn that a few times she even said "hi." It's so cool how she plays with her vocal chords and different positions of her mouth. The funniest sounds come out some times (sorry that was the speech pathology BA in me). The most fun is not only does she smile and laugh when I sing, talk or read to her, she smiles at me when I come home from work. She definitely knows who I am and that is the greatest feeling in the world. Yesterday she was playing on her play mat and she was actually looking up at all the toys and laughing and talking to them. She reached out her hand to touch them a few times too. Her coordination is getting better. she is able to get her fingers in her mouth every so often. She always concentrates real hard first. Sometimes she misses and gets her eye first but then she ends up getting it. But most important of all was the coolest trick she did yesterday. She was on her belly on the floor and I was admiring how great it was that she was able to hold up her head so well when all of a sudden she flipped over. It was true acrobatics! The look on her face though was priceless. It said "what the hell did I just do???"
Lately people have been saying things to me such as "She is aaron's clone!" or "she looks exactly like Aaron." or best of all "were you even there?" As good looking as I find my husband I am somewhat disappointed! I wanted her to look like me! I want her to be my clone! my mini me! I carried her for 9 months, I pushed and pushed and pushed her out, and I had many sleepless nights, and she goes and looks like him! All kidding aside, I am just wondering how Aaron will look as a girl. Maybe I should have him try on my sheital and see, then maybe we will have some idea of what Estee will look like.
As part of my new set of neurosis, I now take Estee's temperature quite often. "How will I know when she is sick, " I asked my mother, "just like labor, you'll know..." she answered. But just like labor I always take every false alarm seriously. Now, don't get the wrong idea, in no way shape or form do I stick my daughter's tushie with a thermometer every day! We have a special pacifier thermometer that I have gotten into the habit of using. Whenever she feels a little warm or is extra cranky, just to be on the safe side, I use it. It can't hurt! it's just a pacifier, she uses that anyway! Last week it was 99.8 and I freaked and called the Dr. He said it is a normal temperature for a baby at her age. As long as she isn't pulling on her ears. Then I wondered, what if she doesn't know how to pull on her ears? what if she isn't coordinated and every time she wants to pull on her ear because it hurts she just smacks herself in the head (which she does quite often I must add!)?
(ps- sorry no picture this time, the digital camera is in the car maybe I will add it later.)

Friday, September 16, 2005

you gotta listen to the dr.

Estee's sleeping pattern is the following: cat naps of about 15-30 minutes during the day here and there and then blocks of sleep at night between 5-8 hours. I told the pediatritian about this because I was concerned that she wasn't sleeping enough. He said that she isn't and what we need to do along with her bedtime routine (which consists of bath, feeding, darkness and bed) we need to realize that she has to learn to put herself to sleep. So rather than rocking her after a feeding, if she is tired, put her to bed and let her fall asleep on her own. Another thing Aaron and I got into the habit of doing is putting her down after her feeding and the second she wakes up picking her up and feeding her more (only at night). so, taking the dr's advice has been a hard task because not only do we want her to sleep but when she is awake she often makes a lot of noise and kvetches. When she is doing this I am unable to go to sleep. Two nights ago, I fed her, put her to bed and 10 minutes later she was awake again. After about 15 minutes of looking around, she was asleep. Wow, score! The dr really knows his stuff. I figured this would be the case every other night but it wasn't so easy. Last night after putting her down twice, she woke up again. I let her stay but it was already late so every so often I would peek at her to see if she had fallen asleep. Every time I peeked at her she saw me and started to laugh! This was totally defeating the purpose every time she laughed, Ilaughed too, it was terrible! Finally I couldn't take it anymore. This could go on all night, I realized. Fridays I start teaching earlier and had to be up earlier and didn't want to be up all night waiting for her to fall asleep. Wouldn't it be easier to just give her a bottle or rock her to sleep to save time? So, that is what we did. We can always try tonight right?

Wednesday, September 14, 2005


Sometimes it is the little things in life that make us excited. This is the way it is for me. A few weeks ago Estee spit up all over Aaron's back and I was so thrilled that I ran for the camera only to realize the battery was dead. I finally got a replay tonight. It isn't as much spitup as the last time and definitely no where near as much as she got on me shabbos, but its a start. Little does Aaron know that when he is at work and I am sitting at the computer on his bed, she spits up constantly hehe. I always wipe it up.
It's amazing how every day Estee is becoming more and more like a person. We have conversations daily and she cracks up, it's the cutest and most unbelievable thing. I have succumbed to the pressure and have become one of those annoying parents with their kids on their answering machines. I happen to think it's cute but I know others do not. Well, for those of you that have my number I strongly suggest you check it out, she sounds like a whiz kid. But, I couldn't resist. And I assure you, when she is old enough to talk for real she will definitely be on our answering machine so deal with it!

Monday, September 12, 2005

The greatest invention

forget graco, fisherprice, tiny love and all that other wonderful stuff. The best invention for my infant is the ceiling fan. For the past 20 minutes she has been laying next to me staring at the spinning and giggiling and cooing with delight. unfortunately there is no safe place I can put her to watch the fan so that I can get stuff done. The only way she can see it is by laying on the bed. Although I have been awake since 4 am I am glad she is awake and alert. I get to spend time with her before leaving for my first real agonizing day of work and missing her. This isn't going to be easy. I don't really want to do it, but I have no choice and I will be strong! (if I don't fall asleep on the job...)
I haven't had caffeine in a year, by golly, I miss it!

Sunday, September 11, 2005

maintaining rituals

Every Friday since Estee has been born I decide "let's see what fits." It's a wonderful ritual. Something pops into my head to make me think..."maybe you lost some weight this week. maybe some of your fat clothes will actually close on you!" It really is a terrible terrible waste week after week. This week I took part in the ritual once again but of course I went away empty handed. 20 minutes into the task and I would exclaim "just one more skirt...this one should fit..." and with anticipation I would pull it up over my now oversized rump soon to be shot down with disappointment. This week, I finally found something that fit, but it looked hideous! That's next week's task I guess. What is the cutoff point for it being acceptable to still have pregnancy weight? I'd possibly like to beat it, has already passed.
This shabbos we took part in our second meal at a friend's house since Estee was born. After crying for about an hour at the closing of the meal, she decided to leave them with a parting gift. About six ounces of formula was spit up onto mommy, herself, and their nice living room rug. I apologized profusely, and Aaron pointed out that atleast it wasn't on their nice new suede couch. It's kind of ironic, two minutes before she had this wonderful projectile vomit, Aaron was holding her, and I took her to hold myself. Serves me right!
She had to vomit all over the parent with no clothes that fit!!

Thursday, September 08, 2005

a paid position as a stay at home mom?

was absolute agony. I hate it, I absolutely hate it. Today, I frustrated beyond belief becauseI was there for over two hours and it was the worst experience of my life. I missed Estee like crazy. I don't think I will be able to do this! On my way home I thought of the best idea. Kollel men get paid to learn. Their salary is raised from the community. Why not set up a fund for stay at home moms. I'll be the one to go door to door, I don't care. What service do we provide? Well, just as the kollel men learn so that they can teach the community, a stay at home mom raises her children with all of her heart and all of her neshama to be wonderful Jews (perhaps a kollel man?) thus adding to the greater good of the community! Life would be grand. I would be an avid mommy and me attendee and I would never miss a single milestone. In my honest opinion a stay at home mother is even more important to the community than a kollel man but I better keep my mouth shut.
Speaking of how cute my daughter is I'd like to share three cute things.
At 5 am I woke up to the sound of shrieking. I thought I was dreaming. What on earth could it be? I got out of bed and saw Estee in her bassinet looking up ever so cheerfully at her mobile of bears shrieking with delight. It was so loud it woke Aaron as well and we both had a good laugh over it.
This morning I couldn't get the bottle into Estee's mouth fast enough and she attempted to suck her fingers. She finally got one in her mouth and one in her nose. If only I couldve gotten the camera fast enough! I started cracking up and then she did too!
We had a blast this morning before the babysitter came. I sang to her for half an hour. some real songs but some not real. She laughed the hardest when I sang and danced nonsense words to the tune of sex in the city for 15 minutes straight. Every time I tried to get her laughter on camera, I missed it by a second. Oh well, I tried.

Wednesday, September 07, 2005

little princess

I believe I have a little princess on my hands. My very smart two month old has figured out how to manipulate her parents and how to get her way. I can't imagine what life will be like when she's a teenager. (my mother is probably so thrilled at the payback.)
There's two new things that Estee started to do. first, when she doesn't get her way fast enough, she pouts. It's actually kinda cute. Then her other new trick is holding her breath. She'll cry and all of a sudden just sto and her face suddenly turns bright red then purple. It makes me cry every time. she's a pretty smart chica.
Yesterday something happened that made me have one of my heroine dreams again. Yesterday as I was driving home I saw that a pedestrian was hit by a car in front of the college. She wasn't consious. I dreamt that I was crossing the street while pushing the stroller and a car started speeding towards us. I knew I was going to get hit and I wouldn't be able to run out of the way fast enough so I pushed the stroller with all my might across the street, screamed "someone watch my baby!" and got hit. Interesting....
Yesterday the babysitter came for the first time. I don't have a nanny cam yet so I had her come with me wherever I had to go. Aaron thinks I'm crazy but Estee's too little right now, there's no way to know how she feels towards this woman. When she is older atleast she will be excited when she comes if she likes her. It was actually nice. I went to decorate my classroom and the babysitter was in the class taking care of Estee. In an ideal world, I would teach a class while my babysitter watched my daughter in the back of the room. No one would be distracted because they would be invisible except to my eyes. I didn't have to worry about taking care of her but I had peace of mind that she was there and safe, and I didn't miss her. The first day is going to be agony. I don't know how I will focus on my job. Maybe I'll wear some of her baby lotion that day so I can smell her.....

Monday, September 05, 2005

interesting things

last night I had a dream. maybe someone can interpret it. In my dream I was walking outside with Estee like I often do and a bee went inside my shoe. In my head I realized that if I were to let it escape it would be angry for being trapped and sting the first person it came in contact with. I realized that could also mean Estee being stung. Not only did I not want her to get stung because of the pain but also the possibility that she may be allergic, and that is scary for a newborn especially. So, I stepped on it with my bare foot so it would not escape. I continued our walk with the stinger in my foot. every time I took a step it was as if the bee was stinging me again and again. What a realistic dream.
Whenever it is the weekend or a holiday our pediatriation has a recording with a phone number to call "in case of emergency." We've used it twice. With a newborn it is so hard to determine if the situation we are in constitutes an emergency situation especially when the doctor won't be in for a few days. Because of all the problems she was having the dr put her on soy formula. (I warn you now, I am going to be talking about doodie again....) Since fri, she only had one bowel movement in 24 hours and I was starting to get a little worried but I figured I would wait it out. Then, yesterday afternoon she went but it was solid which isn't normal for a little one who only drinks liquid. So both Aaron and I figured that this was a good reason to call the doctor. what do you think? So we called and he told us to give her some water bottles that sometimes things like this happen with a change of formula but it happened twice more since we spoke to him and I feel so bad for her because she is in so much pain. it's like her version of childbirth and I feel for her, I really do! But there is no way I am going to be that mother that calls the emergency line twice in one weekend. I can just see him looking at his beeper "oh, it's the Groppers again..."
Yesterday Estee finally met her great poppy. He was the happiest man in the world. Babies are definitely theraputic!

Saturday, September 03, 2005

bath time

We did it! we took a bath together. It was quite a production I must say. It's funny that before taking a bath I have to take a shower. It's kinda like when a cleaning lady comes you have to clean first. Growing up I was always told "Rebecca clean your room because the cleaning lady is coming tommorow." it doesn't make much sense but this is just the way it is. So, I took a shower. then, I had to scrub out the bath. Everything was all ready, I had the temperature of the water perfect and the drain didn't plug properly. Boy was I mad! I wasn't going to give up. I was quite determined. After searching the kitchen for something that could serve as a bathtub plug I finally found it. I took the top of an old enfamil container and put it right on top of the drain, and presto...the bath was being filled! Then, I had to get all her bathtub supplies including the fun mitts. I got in and waited for Aaron to bring her to me. It was a nice experience, we had fun but it may be easier to stick to her regular bath for now, until she can sit up on her own. But we definitely enjoyed listening to and singing rubber ducky!!!