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Friday, December 30, 2005

some captions

Oh my goodness, I am so hungry I could eat a bowl! (I don't really care for horses!)

What a messy Chanukah I had! But boy did I enjoy it!!!!

I really loooooooooove Chanukah!!!

Wednesday, December 28, 2005

Millions of peaches, peaches for me...but not me!

Estee finally finished trying all the veggies so we gave her her first fruit Friday. Bananas mmm..
She actually really liked them. But uch what it did to her poop. (All I will say is it was very tar like, and very smelly....)
Last night I gave her peaches for dessert. I tasted them as I do all her fruits and veggies and I noticed they were a bit tart. is she going to like them? Well, she made her usual face that she makes upon tasting something new but she was still making it after the 4th and 5th spoonful. She also was making a haaaa sound like I can't take this stuff anymore. (that's the best I could explain it.) So I'm guessing she doesn't really like peaches. I'll try again today but who knows...
Then I got to thinking...what if she is allergic to them? How will I know if she is having an allergic reaction during the night if we are all sleeping? Her cheeks did look a little splotchy....
So of course until I fell asleep I kept checking on her to make sure she was still breathing...
I wonder when that's going to stop..

Chanukah presents

Estee got some really great Chanukah presents. I am not quite sure what to do with all of them. Our apartment barely has room for all of mine and Aarons clutter (which by the way I keep telling him we must get rid of because she is going to be crawling soon...)
It is so amazing for me to see how much she has advanced over the past couple of weeks. She went from kind of grasping things and looking all around, to fully focusing on a toy and actually playing with it. Either shaking a rattle, trying to press a button, or just putting it in her mouth. All of these toys couldn't have come at a better time. I got some great gifts too! My favorite was satin hands by Mary Kay. A 4 step process to smooth hands. Wow, what a great present for a new mother who's hands are so raw and cut from constant scrubbing.

Here are some things Estee got for Chanukah, thank you everyone!
Ps the baby in the jumper is not my Estee, it is a baby model from the fisher price website. Check out all the cool things these toys do:

Tuesday, December 27, 2005

No longer an excuse?

At what point am I no longer allowed to use my pregnancy as an excuse for being fat? Estee is almost 6 months, is that the cut off?
Today I took Estee for a walk and I ran into a parent of one of my old students. She said "oh, you had a baby?" I said, "I had her almost 6 months ago..." She said, "oh I thought that is why you left the school, because you were pregnant." I told her she was not the first person to inquire about that. I said maybe someone just guessed that that was the reason and it got passed around. She told me that another mother told her and then said "haven't you seen her belly?" Hmmm. My non-pregnant belly is causing others to think I am pregnant. Something must be done!
I carry around 4 skinny pictures of myself in my bag as my daily incentive. 2 of them are at my skinniest and two of them are of my heaviest. The heavy ones seem skinny in comparison. Today I was showing someone the pictures and he said "wow, you were so skinny...." Emphasis on the word "were." Thanks?
Yesterday I ran up and down the stairs in our apartment, what a workout! I have been on a major diet as well so we shall see. This is so depressing!

Sunday, December 25, 2005

Estee's first Chanukah

Saturday, December 24, 2005

Estee's so frum!

A black hat and a tichel!

Thursday, December 22, 2005

music troubles

When I was pregnant I became overly aware of things around me that are inappropriate for children. It is during that time that the notorious rapper 50 cent (who ironically performed at that 10 million dollar bat mitzvah....) came out with his song called Candy shop. Well, it sounds innocent enough. Wrong! It is the most disgusting and graphic song I have ever heard playing on the radio. The beginning is just inneundos so it is not so bad. If he would have just stayed at that it would have been okay but he goes into explicit detail. For those of you who are curious and have not heard the filth here is a link to lyrics (I will not write them here)
Of course I called z100 to complain about the fact that they could play such a song on a station that children listen to. What horrified me even more was that at the time I was working at a preschool that is in the same building as a frum all girls yeshiva. I was in the bathroom one day and two girls were singing this song as if this was the greatest thing on earth. I wouldn't be surprised if they knew all the words! Little yiddishe mamelahs not older than 10! It was at that moment that I decided that little fetus Estee would not know from things such as z100. Of course when I was pregnant my excuse for continuing to listen to z100 and krock was that she wasn't born yet. Now I only listen sometimes in the car if she is not there and in the shower (we asked our rav about our shower radio and he said absolutely no Jewish music in the bathroom so that's okay...) So tonight in the shower Sean Paul came on and I realized that I really like him. You can't understand a word he says so if it's dirty you wouldn't know. Is it completely out of line to ask for his cd in addition to Shlomo Katz and Eli Kransler for Chanukah?

Wednesday, December 21, 2005

Proof that she loves me too

Last night when I got out of the shower Estee was crying angrily as Aaron tried to calm her down. He said she had been like this since I went into the shower. I took her to calm her down and all of a sudden her cry changed. She remained crying but it was more of a ha ha ha cry (can't explain it better, sorry...)I looked at her and she was smiling! My little creep was faking it! She did that a couple of more times througout the evening. After her bath, Aaron was getting her dressed and she was screaming bloody murder. The second I came into the room and looked at her she started laughing. When I left again, the crying started once again. This made me laugh. Hmmm...I guess she loves me too!
Ps as I write, she's sitting in her bouncy seat desperately trying to get my attention!

Sunday, December 18, 2005

Diaper rash woes

In terms of Estee's little tushy, I take every possible precautionary measure to prevent diaper rash. I even went as far as creating a step by step list that I pasted above her changing table so anyone who changes her will abide by our strict diaper changing guidelines. After every diaper change I use a cloth to make sure she is completely dry. I then cover her in a thick layer of desitin. To the point where all you see is white. To quote my babysitter we "baste her like a turkey." Sometimes I even let her play on a blanket naked and "air dry." If I see a rash brewing (which I did shabbos) I don't use wipes and I let her air dry after almost every change and I change her every hour. If I am doing all of this how did she still get a diaper rash again? What am I doing wrong? Her poor tushy looks terrible. What else is there left to do?
On a funnier note as I was changing her diaper and putting on that thick layer of desitin I stupidly left the diaper open while I reached for a wipe to get my hands clean. I couldn't close the diaper because my hands were covered in desitin. Of course, while my hand was away she stuck her hand smack in the middle of the thick desitin and kinda shmeared it around a bit. Before I had time to think, her hand was all over the place. She was covered in desitin! Of course her hand was my priority being that she sticks it in her mouth. It took me a good five minutes to get her hand clean because the desitin was caked into her fingernails! By the time I was finished cleaning all the desitin, I had to start the process again because most of the desitin that was wear it should be was relocated to other parts of her body. The whole time Estee was hysterical laughing. I'm kind of getting the feeling that she knows what she is doing. Boy, she is a trouble maker!

Who are you and what did you do with my Mommy?

It all began on Friday night. What a week, I was so exausted. My dear husband told me that after I feed her her veggie/cereal I can go to bed and he will put her to bed. I fell asleep around 9 but unfortunately Throughout the night I kept waking up with a terrible sore throat. I figured it was the heat and I was just dry so I downed two bottles of water. Of course that didn't go over that well with my bladder. All in all I didn't sleep much. Shabbos I was lethargic a whole day and kept falling asleep on the couch. Aaron and his parents convinced me to go out a little Saturday night to a chinese auction (where we won again yes!!) saying it would make me feel better. I didn't get into bed until 11:3o (I had wanted to be sleeping by 10:30 the latest) I didn't fall asleep until 1 am. At 4 I woke up and I spent an hour moaning because I felt so yucky and I was so tired. 7:15 my alarm went off for hebrew school. I got out of bed and my right eye wouldn't open. I thought I had pink eye. In the end I didn't but I do have a bad cold. The cold got periodically worse throughout the day. For the past few hours I have sounded like a man and sometimes a boy going through puberty. I kept playing with Estee and she would look at me and smile like she always does (she recognizes my face) but then I would say "hey Es..." in my oh so manly voice and she would just look at me confused. You look like my mommy, but you don't sound like her. I'm not so sure she liked it. The past half hour my voice became almost non-existant. She was crying before and I was trying to tell her that it is okay but it only came out as squeaks that she couldn't really hear so my attempts were futile. At times like these I really wonder what she is thinking. Does her brain work in a way that when I was just a little hoarse she still recognized it as my voice? Or, did she think it was a strangers?

Saturday, December 17, 2005


Tonight I had such a great time and such a great workout. Estee and I had a dance party to my favorite Chaim Dovid song. Re'eh nah (on Maaser Rishon). She was laughing hysterically. I got such a great workout in my arms because I kept lifting her up and pulling her back. On another note please enjoy the cute pictures of Estee loving her butternut squash and of her loving to be naked!

[My father requested that the naked picture of his grandaughter be removed from public view immediately. Sorry Dad]


It all started on Thanksgiving. Estee was playing with Aaron and he was making zzz sounds to her and she was cracking up. When it was time to get bundled up to go out she got a little agitated. Hmmm, she liked the zzz sounds, let me see....and bam she was cracking up again. It was such a great distraction. Ever since then any time we have to complete a task that she isn't so happy with, whether it is getting bundled or changing a diaper, the zzz works great! A few times when she was crying I calmed her down by zzzing to her favorite song. For example: Za Za Za Za Zu za zee Za za zu za zu zee. You see that was Mary had a little lamb.

Tuesday, December 13, 2005

7 minutes= a lifetime

That was the worst seven minutes of my life. I have read article after article telling me the same thing as my doctor and as all my friends who have kids a bit older than Estee. Babies must learn how to fall asleep on their own. If they can do that they will be able to do it in the middle of the night. Every night I make up another excuse why I can't do it. It's already late and I need to go to sleep, or she had shots today, or something. Tonight my excuses ran out and I knew it was for the best. After she had dinner, her bath and her bottle she was still awake but very tired. I put her in bed. She played a little, then started to kvetch. When the crying started I frantically picked up the phone to call one of my friends. This friend told me of the time she let her son cry. She went outside and called people and her husband called her on the cellphone when it was over. Being that Aaron wasn't home, I figured atleast let me talk to someone who can encourage me not to go get her. That friend didn't answer. The next friend I called wasn't home. When I called Aaron he said his shiur just ended and Maariv will be starting in 5 minutes, he'll be home after that. I told him that I hope her crying doesn't end that long. So, I called my mom. Atleast I was the only one crying. I was afraid that it would be 7 minutes of all three generations crying. But, it was only me and Estee. When she finally quieted down, a huge boulder was lifted off of my chest. I needed to check on her. What if she wasn't sleeping and saw me? But, what if she choked from crying and needs me? I decided I must see. So I told my mother to be quiet just in case she would hear her through the phone and I crawled into her room. When I got to the crib I slowly slowly got up and peered over the top of her crib. Eyes closed, chest moving rhythmically in and out. Ahhhh, sleep. Thank G-d. So, it worked. 7 minutes. It somehow doesn't really seem that bad but at the time it was. Before my mother said goodnight she said "It will take a few more nights before she gets used to it." WHAT??!! I have to do this again???? I was so happy that I finally got it over with. I thought all it took was one night. My mother also warned me that it may not be 7 minutes tommorow. Oysh. Take this as your warning everyone. Be home and be available. I WILL be calling you!

Monday, December 12, 2005

Things I love about being Estee's Mommy

1. The way I can be having the worst day and one look at or even thought of her cheers me up instantaneously.
2. The way she sometimes just looks up at me and for no reason at all other than the fact that we have a bond, just smiles.
3. How at 4 am when I am beyond exausted and just want to go to sleep, she can make funny sounds in her crib keeping me up and I laugh rather than getting annoyed.
4. How I can be on the other side of the room talking to someone and she will stop what she is doing to follow my voice.
5. The way she lights up and smiles when I walk in the door and say hi to her.
6. The way she opens her mouth any time anything comes near it with hopes of chewing and or sucking on it.
7. The way she laughs when I kiss her cheek
8. The way she "kisses" me by sucking on my cheek.
9. The way she fake coughs to get my attention and when she gets it, laughs.
10. The way that the second I put her in the bathtub she starts kicking like crazy getting me and everything around me soaking wet.
11. The way she grabs my face when I'm holding her.
12. The way she rubs my back when she is falling asleep on my shoulder.
13. How she concentrates so hard when trying to accomplish a task.
14. How when she gets excited she flails her arms and legs all around.
15. How she slams her legs down onto the ground over and over.
16. How she loves to be naked
17. Her facsination with trees
18. The way her pain hurts me more than it hurts her.
19. The way she tries to have a conversation with me.
20. The way she rolls over while I'm trying to change her diaper.

I love you Esther Malka Gropper!

More new tricks

Estee has a bunch of new fun things to add to her repertoire. She is almost creeping. She bends her knees and pulls her tush up and tries to slither. Sometimes she moves half an inch, it's so exciting. Remember in gymnastics classes you would have to make a bridge with your body? Well, in the below picture, you may not be able to tell but that is what Estee is doing. Cool huh? (and yes that his her bare tushy you see, and no, she doesn't have diaper rash. The doctor says that letting her air out is a preventative measure so why not?) A few other things she has been doing lately: laughing out loud, screetching really high pitched and really loud over and over. Last night she tried butternut squash, yum! She kept saying "mmm, mmm." So, I guess she liked it too. Well, her newest and cutest trick is this: she was making tongue raspberries with the food in her mouth. Needless to say, it got everywhere. It was hard not to laugh. She of course realized she had an audience (not to mention I was videotaping it) and kept doing it for more laughter. I know in the future we may regret encouraging her to do this but right now it is a milestone and a cute one at that!

Sunday, December 11, 2005


Hi my name is Rebecca and I'm addicted to my baby. You probably have already realized that. Last night though, since she had been very cranky all evening due to teething, I kinda did a bad thing. I brought her into bed with me and let her fall asleep on me. Of course I did not fall asleep myself although I was almost there. And, of course I jumped at the photo op and told Aaron to get the camera and I hastily put my snood on, hence the black paintbrush markings over the rest of my hair yet again. Well, it was the most amazing feeling. I was so comfortable and so at peace which I am sure she was as well. Finally Aaron said she is in a deep sleep, let me put her into bed and you can go to sleep. The second he took her out of my arms I felt cold and uncomfortable. Although I had to keep myself from drifting off with her in my arms, I could not fall asleep once she was gone. It took me an hour. The only thing is, I think she had the same problem. Every hour she woke up. She cried a little in her sleep, and once she had her pacifier, she was fine. It's probably bad that I keep giving it to her right?

Friday, December 09, 2005

Is this dangerous?

I love peas!

and apparantly, so does Estee. She slept for 9 hours straight last night (9:30-6:30). The only thing that was different was that she tried sweet peas for the first time. After her bath she had peas with her cereal and then a bottle. I decided though that I will give her the cereal and vegetable nightly and dinner time. Then, bathe her and then give her the bottle. Often after her bath she is so hungry that she won't eat cereal. We shall see. If she sleeps like that again tonight, then we know it was the peas. Wow, peas who would have thought. Thank G-d for peas then. I will give her peas every day if it means no more waking up at 3 am!

Wednesday, December 07, 2005

safety precautions

So, now that Estee is flipping over and rolling all over the place something has to be done with our coffee table! (it has corners!!) Until I am able to get the things to cover the
corners( I must do something! When she rolls over close to a corner, although she is not yet sitting up, when she is on her stomach she can lift her head high enough to smack her head into a corner. We definitely don't want that. Here is what I did:
(it's a towel!)

This is her trying to roll over right by it:

Monday, December 05, 2005


Thanks to anon who commented and gave me the idea, I called la leche league and spoke with a woman named Liz for almost an hour about ways to solve my solution. She said not to worry because you don't dry up for months so a few days won't hurt. She also told me to continue to pump even though nothing is coming out that will increase my supply. So hopefully it will all workout. Thankfully she nursed a little before so maybe she is just going through a lazy phase and it will pass soon.
On another note check out the cute pics!

Sunday, December 04, 2005

oh what a night...

Last night I discovered that Estee once again has a diaper rash. I'm not quite sure what is going on. Every single time I change her I make sure she is completely dry, then apply a really thick layer of desitin. But for some reason they keep coming back! So, once again I let her play naked which she loved. Eventhough I put towels down, she still managed to pee on the carpet and on me. But that's okay. I wasn't feeling well and I went to bed at 11. Since I took an hour nap on shabbos I was unable to fall asleep until 12, how annoying! At 12:45 she woke up crying. Usually that means "Give me my paci..." but it didn't work and she continued to cry. Her cry sounded like she was in pain so I woke Aaron and said "do you think she's sick?" In his sleep he mumbled "she's fine," and went right back to snoring. I picked her up to see what was wrong, perhaps she was hungry. She peed all over me. Thank G-d! If it was on her sheets I'd have to go through the daily ritual of taking off her bumpers, changing her sheets and putting her bumpers back on. Just for a second I'd like to digress to this diaper issue. I'm a big fan of huggies because of the gigglastic but for some reason no matter how tight I make the diaper, she leaks through every night. Every single day I have been changing the sheets. Her legs are so skinny that she still wears a size one diaper. The other night I put two diapers on her and she still leaked through! Any ideas?
So, back to my night. I knew I had to change her (I realized that she probably cried because the peeing hurt her rash..) I also knew that she wanted to eat a little. Her eyes were still closed through the crying. If I gave her a bottle she would be in a nice sleep. If I changed her after the bottle she would wake up and it would be impossible to get her back to sleep. If I changed her before the bottle she would scream. Bring in Aaron. I woke Aaron, saying I need you so you gotta wake up. I made him hold the bottle in her mouth as I changed her which in the end was pretty ineffective because I think his eyes were closed the whole time and more formula ended up dribbling down her cheek and into her hair causing the back of her head to be soaking. Well, 2 oclock, she was finally sleeping. It was now my turn to attempt. Unfortunately, this was not an option due to Aaron's loud snoring and his recent refusal to wear his mouth guard which is supposed to stop or atleast muffle it. He kept getting angry at me for waking him to tell him to be quiet. At 2:45 I finally gave up and went to go sleep in the bed in Estee's room. Which I must say was kinda nice. 3:30 Estee woke up crying again. What the heck? could she still be hungry? She didn't eat much at 1 and 3:30 is sometimes her usual time to get up. So, since once again her eyes were half closed I started to nurse her..maybe it would work! And, it did! 5 minutes into the feeding Estee let out a grunt, I heard a squirting noise and felt something warm on my leg. Shoot! She just made! So, now I was faced with yet another dillemma. Stop feeding her and change her or wait until she is done? I opted on a compramise. As soon as she pulls herself off, I will change her. That is exactly what I did. Of course she wasn't too happy with me. Once her diaper was changed and her pajamas were off I figured I would try to continue to feed her and then maybe in her sleep I could slip on her new pajamas. At this point I guess she was to agitated and hungry and she didn't want to nurse. So, while the bottle warmed, I put her new pajamas on. I'm not sure what time it was when she finished eating because there is no clock in her room but whatever time it was, I went back to sleep. At around 6:30 she woke up to eat more. (Strange but she downed 4 oz.) After I was finished feeding her I called into hebrew school to tell them I wouldn't be making it today.(which isn't like me, but I was so exausted!) I slept until 9. Of course she is still sleeping but once I am up I think of all I have to do and I can't go back to sleep. I guess she is exausted too. It's 10:15 and she is still sleeping. She is in her new sleeping position with her tush up in the air, not sure if you can see it in the pictures but cute nonetheless.

Saturday, December 03, 2005

Shabbos accomplishments

Last night we went to a friend for dinner. It was so nice to be around couples with other children. Most of them (except for a 4 week old) are older than Estee and were already walking and playing with eachother. When I was getting Estee ready to go and changing her outfit on the couch, one little boy named Shlomo kept coming up to her and pointing and saying "baby, baby." He pointed to her hair and said "hair, hair," and then gave her a gentle little pat on her head. Then he did the cutest thing. He came up and gave her a kiss on the head! She gave him the biggest smile and watched him as he walked away. Ah, young love....
During dinner, Estee was sitting in her infant seat inside her stroller (so the little ones wouldn't step on her.) She kept trying to sit up, like she often does. So Aaron sat her up and put her hands over the sides to keep her balance and she was sitting all by herself! It was so exciting! She definitely can't really sit on her own but it was so cute nonetheless.
I learned a new trick from a friend that I am so excited about. As you know from a past post, Estee hates the wind. The second we get outside on a windy day, it makes her hold her breath and she gets very agitated. Well, we learned that if you put the plastic rain cover over the stroller, it also shields baby from the wind. What a relief! We had a painless walk and she was so content! It's so nice to have experienced mommy friends! Now, how do we make the trek from the house to the car in her carseat just as painless?

do it yourself baby?

Since Friday morning, every time I have tried to nurse Estee, she has pulled herself off, not wanting to nurse but taking to the bottle immediately. Unfortunately I am no longer able to pump. So, I guess that means that if she continues this, she has officially weaned herself off of nursing. Is that possible? I'm a bit sad. I was finally getting the hang of it and determined to continue until she is atleast 6 months (when she can get a flu shot). Well, we will see what happens. According to a website I found on my search on this matter: "Child-led weaning occurs when a child no longer has a need to nurse - nutritionally or emotionally. A baby who self-weans is usually well over a year old, is getting most of his nutrition from solids, is drinking well from a cup, and cuts down on nursing gradually. If children are truly allowed to self-wean in their own time, most will do so somewhere between the 2nd and 4th year. Obviously, some will wean before this time and some will wean after this time, too."
If this is the case, self weaning isn't the issue. Then, what could be happening? Could it have something to do with the fact that she is teething? If so, what can I do to make sure my milk supply doesn't go away?