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Wednesday, January 11, 2006

How funny

Just to digress a bit. My mother sent me a really funny email about motherhood that I thought would be nice to share. Considering this is a blog about motherhood, I figured it was okay....


“Why God made moms" answers given by elementary school age children to the following questions:

Why did God make mothers?
1. She's the only one who knows where the scotch tape is.

2. Mostly to clean the house. 3. To help us out of there when we were getting born.

How did God make mothers?
1. He used dirt, just like for the rest of us.
2. Magic plus super powers and a lot of stirring.
3. God made my Mom just the same like he made me. He just used bigger parts.

What ingredients are mothers made of?
1. God makes mothers out of clouds and angel hair and everything nice in the world and one dab of mean.
2. They had to get their start from men's bones. Then they mostly use string, I think.

Why did God give you your mother and not some other Mom?
1. We're related.
2. God knew she likes me a lot more than other people's moms like me.

What kind of little girl was your Mom?
1. My Mom has always been my Mom and none of that other stuff.
2. I don't know because I wasn't there, but my guess would be pretty bossy.
3. They say she used to be nice.

What did Mom need to know about dad before she married him?
1. His last name.
2. She had to know his background. Like is he a crook? Does he get drunk on beer?
3. Does he make at least $800 a year? Did he say NO to drugs and YES to chores?

Why did your Mom marry your dad?
1. My dad makes the best spaghetti in the world. And my Mom eats a lot.
2. She got too old to do anything else with him.
3. My grandma says that Mom didn't have her thinking cap on.

Who's the boss at your house?
1. Mom doesn't want to be boss, but she has to because dad's such a goof ball.
2. Mom. You can tell by room inspection. She sees the stuff under the bed.
3. I guess Mom is, but only because she has a lot more to do than dad.

What's the difference between moms and dads?
1. Moms work at work & work at home, & dads just go to work at work.
2. Moms know how to talk to teachers without scaring them.
3. Dads are taller & stronger, but moms have all the real power 'cause that's who you got to ask if you want to sleep over at your friend's. Moms have magic, they make you feel better without medicine.

What does your Mom do in her spare time?
1. Mothers don't do spare time.
2. To hear her tell it, she pays bills all day long.

What would it take to make your Mom perfect?
1. On the inside she's already perfect. Outside, I think some kind of plastic surgery.
2. Diet. You know, her hair. I'd diet, maybe blue.

If you could change one thing about your Mom, what would it be?
1. She has this weird thing about me keeping my room clean. I'd get rid of that.
2. I'd make my Mom smarter. Then she would know it was my sister who did it and not me.
3. I would like for her to get rid of those invisible eyes on her back.

==============*****************================
THE MOMMY TEST

I was out walking with my 4 year old daughter. She picked up something off the ground and started to put it in her mouth. I took the item away from her and I asked her not to do that.
"Why?" my daughter asked.
"Because it's been laying outside, you don't know where it's been, it's dirty and probably has germs" I replied.
At this point, my daughter looked at me with total admiration and asked, "Wow! How do you know all this stuff?"
"Uh," ...I was thinking quickly,"All moms know this stuff. It's on the Mommy Test. You have to know it, or they don't let you be a Mommy."
We walked along in silence for 2 or 3 minutes, but she was evidently pondering this new information.
"OH...I get it!" she beamed, "So if you don't pass the test you have to be the daddy."
"Exactly" I replied back with a big smile on my face and joy in my heart.

Kids, gotta love em!
One day Estee will turn to me and say something just as funny I am sure! But I am definitely not rushing! I am dreading the day when I turn around and say When did she grow up??

15 Comments:

Blogger tuesdaywishes said...

We spend two years teaching them to walk and talk and then eighteen telling them to sit down and be quiet!

5:23 PM  
Blogger rina said...

My daughter has been coming into my room around midnight and trying to sleep with me for a few weeks now. I asked her today why she was doing it and she said, "because I like you so much." I couldn't argue with that.

I love your blog. I am going to vote for you!!!

5:50 PM  
Blogger oishkapipik said...

that was awsome!! laughing out loud! Also you have the best complete profile section, very creative!! I also will vote for you, although I think this whole blog contest is a bit of a drag.

8:30 PM  
Blogger Rebecca said...

Tuesday- I'm not looking forward to those days! how old are yours?
Rina- That is so sweet. They really know how to get us don't they?
Thanks for the vote Rina and Oishkapipik! :)

2:28 AM  
Blogger Pragmatician said...

Thanks for sharing, the first one was clearly not answered by Jewish kids!
And the second one is an obvious plagiarism from Calvin and Hobbes! Nevertheless a good laugh is always welcome!

2:32 AM  
Blogger Rebecca said...

prag- welcome back...haven't seen you in a while. As I said it was a forward I got so I couldn't give anyone credit

2:36 AM  
Blogger chicagoG said...

thanks for visiting my blog...
Estee is cute..
where are u located?

9:01 AM  
Blogger Rebecca said...

ny

1:05 PM  
Blogger Ayelet said...

How do you now MC? You seem to be on familiar terms.

10:24 AM  
Blogger Rebecca said...

I don't know him at all. I started reading his blog and he started reading mine a couple of weeks ago. do you know him?

1:25 PM  
Blogger Ayelet said...

Nah. But he is one awesome writer, no?

6:09 PM  
Blogger Ayelet said...

I would love to do a blogger lunch or dinner at some chilled out restaurant some day and meet some of these cool bloggers. Do you think it could ever happen? (Assuming, of course, my husband wouldn't divorce me if I did go. He can get fanatic like that ;)! I keep having to reassure him that my blogger crushes are nothing for him to worry about. So cute.)

6:12 PM  
Blogger Rebecca said...

haha. I haven't quite developed blogger crushes yet but I know what you mean. Yeah pearlies ofwisdom was talking about it on her website but I think she might be talking about the west coast. I think it's a great idea. I would love to meet some of the faces behind the blogs. Some people want to remain anonymous but others don't seem to mind. Like you and I for example that plaster our pictures all over our blog :)
and yes, mc is a great writer that's probably why I responded so much, I had so much to say!

2:13 AM  
Blogger Ayelet said...

Yeah that was the west coast. Don't you read the coffeehouse and psychotoddler? They're more middle-aged than us I guess but they're so sharp. Anyways, pt visited dr. bean from the coffeehouse in l.a. -they had only met over the computers until then. tht's when thay had this blooger dinner. from the sound of it, it turned out amazing.

4:04 PM  
Blogger Rebecca said...

Right that's what I'm saying. I think we should do it. It will be fun. Worse comes to worse we could just talk about our kids :)

Anyone on the East coast interested?

5:05 PM  

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