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Wednesday, January 18, 2006

Not my usual style

I try to stay away from topics that are not directly related to Estee. I have been very careful about not posting things that have happened to me or thoughts that I have had about life in general that don't have anything to do with her. I know it may seem silly but it's just my thing. I plan on printing out this whole blog and putting it in a binder titled "life with Estee" to let her read one day. I'm hoping she will get a kick out of it. One recent event though has left me so angry. Last night you could find me sitting on my couch screaming at the TV because of this particular event. My justification for writing it in Estee's blog is that it has to do with parenting, or lack thereof and so does my blog, in a way. It is possible that I may say something somewhat controversial but my disclaimer is this: I do not mean to offend anyone, I'm just angry....
That poor sweet Nixzmary. What did she ever do? I get so angry when I hear stories like this. My blood just boils when I hear about parents starving their children, or babies found in dumpsters, or horrid details of other types of abuse that poor innocent children are forced to endure. There are so many people I am angry at right now. I am angry at her parents (obviously) for being sick enough to do this to her. The cover of yesterday's post said "Mother didn't stop father from beating her because she was afraid he would hit her." Excuse me?? Big deal! If anyone ever had the audacity to come near my child in a threatening way I would stand in their way and get beaten to a pulp if I had to just to prevent ANY pain being inflicted upon her!!! That is the sorriest excuse I have ever heard! I am also angry at ACS for their oversight in this situation. This poor child's death could've been prevented and probably many others. I have often complained about the ridiculousness of some of their policies and procedures for deeming someone "abused." In some of my Graduate Education classes we have discussed this matter at length. Many teachers have reported situations to them and upon going to the house if there was minimal food and clothing in the house and no obvious marks on the child they would immediately drop the case. Not all abuse leaves visible scars. Finally, on a more phylisophical note, I am angry at G-d. I know this sounds a bit childish and I have often said that we don't know G-d's plan or why he does what he does but in situations like this, I find that I don't think very rationally. My anger is two-fold. Firstly, why did that poor girl and countless others deserve to be treated in this way? What terrible sin could an innocent child possibly commit that they deserve to be beaten and murdered by the two people they trust most in the world? Secondly, why do sick undeserving animals of people end up birthing children, sometimes in multiples when there are amazing, loving, G-d fearing people out there that cannot? This to me is perhaps the cruelest irony. To digress a bit for a moment, at a recent shabbos meal we were discussing my favorite discussion of all: abortion. I'm not going to go into detail but basically I was giving my opinion on why I think that the privilege is abused by some. I went on to say that it isn't fair that people who have no real reason to abort (other than just not wanting a baby) do so when there are so many people out there that want a child so badly. I guess this kind of falls under the same category for me. Lastly, I am angry at the legal system. All right, here goes another controversial issue: Death penalty. Yes, in some murder cases we can claim that we aren't sure if the person really did it and they may be killed wrongfully, blah blah. Two wrongs don't make a right, we can't play G-d blah blah again. In situations like this I think we should use this punishment. Okay people, this is when I will get harsh: Anyone that causes REAL harm (not a little potch or something) upon an innocent child willingly does not deserve to live. ouch, I know but I told you, I'm angry. Do you honestly think that this man deserves to go to prison, get paroled in 10 years and then possibly father more children? This was one of the things I was yelling at the TV last night. I think I just raised my blood pressure a lot but I feel better getting that rant out of the way. Now, let me go kiss my innocent little cutie pie who has no idea of all the terrible things that go on in this world. It's a damn shame I can't keep it that way!


Blogger Pragmatician said...

In you scrapbook you skip this one post. and it’ll make a great memory book.
I perfectly understand you anger, I get rather sad, there should be a universal metaphysical rule that kids cannot be hurt.

4:18 AM  
Blogger Rebecca said...

That would be a wonderful rule!

2:03 AM  
Blogger Datingmaster, Jerusalem said...

come over and comment on my new poem

6:58 AM  
Blogger oishkapipik said...

I disagree with pragmatician, keep it for the scrapbook! It just shows that you're real. A person that is capable of doing this to a child does not deserve to live in my opinion also!! Ok we get upset at our children every once in a while, but a half-way normal person would never dream of hurting his child in any way. I know its a bit sick and I know I would never do it but.... when my child comes home from Gan and he tells me how so and so was hitting him for no reason, I feel like going there and teaching that kid a lesson!!

I know Estee is just a baby.. Imagine how attached to her you are right now!! It only gets stronger and stronger as the years go by. I have a 3 and 6 year old who mean the world to me!

9:10 PM  
Blogger Rebecca said...

Yeah the growing attachment kinda scares me a bit. Not because I don't like it but because I am afraid to be too overprotective. Back to those crazy parents for a minute. Do you know the mom said that she deserved it because she didn't listen or something crazy like that? uch!

6:31 AM  

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