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Sunday, March 26, 2006

Rebecca- Dr jeckel or Mr. Hyde?

When Estee was sick I spoiled her big time. She woke up every hour or so and I went to her and held her if that is what she needed. Not only do we now have the vomiting issue but our problem has now intensified. Last week I was an absolute zombie. She not only woke up every hour or so, it took her a long time to fall back asleep. Thursday night I decided to let her cry. 20 minutes into it Aaron with his head under his pillow trying to sleep through it, told me I should probably go and get her. So, that was ruined.
Last night I finally couldn't take it anymore. I tried rubbing her back but she kept waking up so at 11:30 I sat in the living room with Aaron and just dealt with it. Every time I thought she was stopping it seemed as if she just needed a little break and just started right back up again. After a half an hour I turned into a crazy person. I knew I couldn't go to her, but I couldn't take her screaming. It was heartbreaking. I was crying, apologizing to her over and over, punching the chair, and then badly enough, cursing out my husband. It was almost like labor all over again, only I didn't really curse him out then. It finally ended after a total of 50 minutes. I can't believe I stayed strong. I apologized to Aaron for everything I said and went to bed. She didn't wake up until 7:30 am. whew. If she does that again tonight, I will have to be committed.

12 Comments:

Blogger tuesdaywishes said...

You'll make it, honestly, we all do. And your husband will forgive you, though he might remind you about this when you say you're ready for the next baby.

4:42 PM  
Blogger Ayelet said...

Honey, I'm so proud of you. Keep it up. Do it for her sake if not yours!

3:28 PM  
Blogger Rebecca said...

last night 6 minutes, tonight-20. She fell asleep like a contortionist with her neck all twisted, I'm afraid she's going to strain her neck, should I move her?

6:04 PM  
Blogger Ayelet said...

Leave her alone! Don't you think her brain will send her the message if she's uncomfortable? How've you been? It's been a while since you've posted...

6:14 PM  
Blogger Rebecca said...

I know...I have so many things to say I'm just so overwhelmed w all my responsibilities...esp pesach coming

ps I moved her

2:08 AM  
Blogger Aunt Laya said...

Hi Rebecca,
this is exactly why they say parenting is the hardest job in the world, because it is! And like Ayelet said, we do all get through it. One option is to let the baby sleep with you. My kids are 12 and 10 and sometimes still slip into bed with us when they need to.

By the way, do you know about Lawrence (Leib) Kelleman? He writes and speaks about raising kids (lectures on AishAudio.com and other websites). I heard him say that letting a kid cry without comfort is one of the worst things you can do. I know "Verberizing" is a popular method but not a good one for the baby. (Which is different than letting the baby cry for a little bit to see if they'll comfort themselves or get distracted.)

Anyway, sending (((hugs))),
Aunt Laya
(PS thanks for visiting my blog)

4:47 PM  
Blogger Pragmatician said...

Sounds so hard to take, perhaps she's just teething?

1:54 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

ferberize

2:08 AM  
Blogger Rebecca said...

aunt laya- I know some people believe that you shouldnt let them cry and believe me, I wish I could do that but I tried all those methods, she wakes up often looking for me and I get no sleep. Letting her cry as painful as it is, works. As for letting her sleep with me, #1 isnt it one of the main causes of death in babies? I would be so nervous of her rolling off of me or me rolling on top of her
i wouldn't fall asleep a whole night. #2 I don't want to train her to sleep with me, I want her to learn how to fall asleep on her own. The goal is to allow her the ability to fall asleep on her own so if she does wake up in the middle of the night she will just go back to sleep like you or I.
Prag- she is def teething, she has been teething since she was like 4 or 5 months old only thing is, no teeth yet!!!

2:11 AM  
Blogger Eshet Chayil said...

it seems I wander from blog to blog thinking from one moment, I can't wait to get married and be a mommy, to the next moment, oh my gosh, I'm terrified of getting married and being a mommy. GUess which one this falls under...

6:20 AM  
Blogger Rebecca said...

its worth every moment of it. I adore motherhood

11:21 AM  
Blogger Aunt Laya said...

Hi again Rebecca, First of all, I want to say that I believe you'll make the right, best decisions for you and your baby. Anything anyone says is just for support and encouragement and sharing their life experience. We all make the best choices we know how and learn from there. What works for one family isn't the same for every family. You knew that though. :-)

As for sleeping with babies, it's really okay as far as safety. If you do that or not it's really a personal choice, but if the baby needs you it's much easier on you both. Lot's of people do it and call it "family bed". The only babies who've been hurt sleeping with their mommy are when the mother is a drug addict or drunk. Anyway, I think they call it attachment parenting now.

It is really smart to let them learn to fall asleep on their own. You can let a baby cry some for sure, but there are some cries that can't be ignored. I'm sure you know the difference, you sound very aware.

Mostly I wanted to give you a cyber (((hug))) for the challenging times because they are hard. And the good times are so very sweet.

Enjoy the journey Rebecca!

sending even more cyber (((hugs))) for when ever you need them, now or later. :-)

Aumt Laya

9:36 PM  

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